Stop being perfect! Here is why.

The list of things we want or need to do every day seems to be getting longer and we wish we had more hours each day to accomplish them. Getting the kids ready for school, being on time in the office, showing the boss that we are capable and worthy of their praise, putting nutritious meals on the table, going to the gym, and being the best partner and lover to your spouse is just the short list of things you try to ace every day.

And then you forget something or simply didn’t have the time to get to it. You forgot to pay the cable bill, or missed your uncle’s birthday or simply didn’t get the chance to fold the laundry. You get frustrated and start beating yourself up. How could I forget?! This disappointment in ourselves often snowballs and we, especially us women, keep dwelling on the one thing we missed rather than appreciating all the other things we accomplished so well.

Our desire to be perfect is also often felt in the workplace. We want to please our manager, ultimately hoping to get the confident boosting words “Well done!” that will motivate us to keep going. But instead of hearing constructive feedback, we hear criticism and start wondering if we are really ‘good enough’ to do this job.

Exactly those thoughts of frustration and worries about not being good enough have an immense impact on your body. Disappointment, frustration, doubt, and fear trigger our sympathetic nervous system responsible for sending out adrenaline, the stress hormone. Prolonged stress has grave implications on your body. Besides it causing you to be miserable all the time it also impacts your sleep, increases your blood pressure and level of inflammation in your body, and accelerates aging, just to name a few.

But putting your body in a state of stress isn’t the only downside of trying to be perfect. Perfectionism really stifles your creativity as you worry that your new ideas could be perceived as silly. Ever sat in an office meeting where your boss asked the team to brainstorm a topic? You will have probably noticed that some chime in more than others. Are the quiet ones really just shy or are they worried about their ideas not being good enough?

The other day I went to a painting class and one of the women clearly showed signs of perfectionism. After making sure that we all knew that she had never pained before it took her almost 30 minutes before she allowed herself to put the brush on the canvas. She was visibly uncomfortable telling us how she was so worried to mess up. Being perfect can truly remove the JOY of doing something.

Also consider that being perfect is quite frankly an unattainable feat. Think of a past goal you set yourself. How much time did you spend celebrating your success once you reached it vs. already focusing on the next goal? Most of us are motivated to grow, get better at things, have more success today than we had yesterday. In fact, our entire species wouldn’t have evolved to today’s sophistication if we didn’t have this drive to continuously expand and improve ourselves.

But to bring it back to your average day that is filled with so many things you’d like to do. Do you really think you’d sit back and be happy if you finally were able to finish today's to-do list? No, many of us would start tomorrow's to-do list 'just to get ahead'. You never allow your mind to be at peace, let alone feel so very happy because of what you have accomplished.

To sum it up, if you’d like to reduce your level of stress to live a healthy and happier life, I recommend you give yourself some slack. Use the time you’d normally spend on being frustrated about not being perfect on giving gratitude to yourself for all the things you have accomplished.

You are perfect exactly as you are. There is no need to change anything except the thoughts that you aren’t good enough.

Would it be helpful for us to support you when you moving towards your vision of your healthiest, most JOYful life? We’d love to guide you every step of the way in this process and along your journey to reaching that vision. Click the 'Contact' button in the top right corner or simply send us an email to info@joyvial.com to schedule your free discovery session.

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