“The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.”
― Diane Von Furstenberg
Can you remember the last time you had some peace and quiet? Many of us rush around all day long from sunup to sundown…never without a moment of hurriedly doing a task for work or our families. Do you wake up to your alarm everyday…then immediately grab for your phone? Do you get up, make coffee and are busy going about the mindless tasks you do every day...making breakfast for the family, showering quickly, throwing on some makeup, out the door to sit in the same traffic while listening to the news? Then upon getting to work, load up the emails, get ready for meetings, grab lunch on the go and then quickly take something on the go for the family for dinner. Yes, all of this is important but most of us do this on autopilot, every day, nonstop.
We have to actually work to press the pause button…and this is so impactful to not only us but to those around us as well. Everyone needs time to rest and recharge alone.
Why press the pause button:
Reduce stress: Envision a place, maybe outdoors where there’s nothing but silence or Mother Nature’s soothing sounds (birds, crickets). Doesn’t just the thought of it make you less stressed and more peaceful?
Get in tune with your needs: With all this noise in your life (others talking, images flashing by, your brain telling you what you didn’t do right, etc.) you can’t hear what your soul truly needs. Only when the world goes quiet can you hear your own intuition speaking to you.
Be creative: I’ve come up with the best ideas for work and my personal life when I create space from my day to day life to be quiet and just create what comes to mind.
Contemplate the important things in life: Taking time to consider if you’re living your life the way you want to, if you’re the loving partner to your spouse the way you intend to be, or mom/dad to your kids. Are you placing the right amount of time on the things that truly matter? The answer may be yes, but unless you take quality time to consider these important questions you may end up in old age regretting the many missed opportunities to shape your life the way you want it to be rather than being in the rat race following your daily routine without thought.
Become Re-energized: Oprah once said that for you to be all things to everyone else you have to fill your own cup first…once it overflows you can give to others. I love this analogy. As already said (point 1) taking time for yourself and a break from all the responsibilities you have provides you a chance to recharge. There comes a point where you WANT to come back to your work, you miss your kids and spouse, you crave to ‘do’ again.
How to press the pause button:
Get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning and find solitude before the family wakes up.
Go for walks on your own through the park (no phone, be off the grid)
Close the door to your office and look out the window. Just sit, breathe, and enjoy the silence.
Sit in your car for 10-15 minutes two streets away from your house to re-center before joining the madness in your house.
Take time throughout the day to pause and think about what you’re grateful for…this will automatically ground your nervous system.
On a larger scale consider scheduling a day for yourself, or even better a weekend away. Book a cabin in the woods, a hotel near the ocean, book a yoga or meditation retreat (or even a ‘silent retreat’!). I promise you, it’ll change your world for the better.
What it requires:
Good communication and balance with your spouse - you both need alone time so how can you coordinate your schedule – without having this conversation it’s not going to happen.
Schedule it! If it’s not on your calendar the chances are slim it’ll work out. Something else will always come in between.
Discipline: Right in the moment when you want to take time off for yourself something pops up that wants your attention. Be disciplined and realize that unless it’s a true emergency you must be your own TOP PRIORITY. No one else will do that for you, nor is it anybody else’s responsibility.
I take long weekends by myself at least twice a year and I’ve come back with new insights, renewed energy, and more joy every single time. Give yourself the present of time, time to think, contemplate your priorities, and the much-needed space to recharge your batteries on YOUR terms.
The time is now…to take a break and start incorporating these items into your life. What can you start doing today to care for yourself and offer yourself some peace and solitude? What would this look like? Do you need any help to make this happen? How can you prioritize your self-care?
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