Did you already read our last blog where we shared the first 7 of 21 strategies to rekindle your relationship? If not, start there and then come back to this one.
Which ideas from the first blog did you end up trying out? Celebrate even the smallest successes as they are a step in your desired direction.
Okay, now on to the next 7 strategies which we know will elevate the love in your marriage.
1. Understand your partner’s love language
Have you heard of the 5 love languages? Somebody might shrug it off as just another personality test but we have found a lot of truth in their results. Do you prefer ‘physical touch’, ‘words of affirmation’, ‘ quality time’, ‘acts of service’, or ‘receiving gifts’? Take their free test to find out. There are no right or wrong answers. It’s just the way you are wired. And once you know how your partner is wired you can emphasize doing things that serve that side of their preferred love language more often. You are welcome!
2. Kiss like they do in movies
I think we all need to learn how to kiss like the couples in romantic movies. I’m talking about the slow, gentle kiss that seems to take forever before the lips part again. We need more of that kind of kissing in our relationships. Can you take the lead? I know, at the start it can feel awkward to try out new things, but just talk about it together before you get started.
In either case, we need more kisses in our relationships. Kisses reconnect us as a couple, reaffirm our love for one another and make us fall in love with each other over and over again. Kisses are more important than you think and we encourage you to start kissing your spouse more often starting right now. I invite you to pause reading this blog for a moment to visit your husband for a slow, gentle kiss before turning around again to come back to your own work. That should leave a spark, shouldn’t it?!
3. “I love you, I love you, I love you”
If you grew up in a family where the words ‘I love you’ weren’t said that often (although there may have been lots of love in the house), not hearing those words now or not saying them yourself to your spouse may not feel like a big deal but it is. Hearing those words from your spouse often throughout the day will make you feel so tremendously loved and happy. Just try saying it…genuinely…and see your spouse smile from ear to ear.
Tell each other often. Not the quick “love ‘ya” at the end of a phone call but a deliberate, heartfelt ‘I love you’ whenever you run into your husband. 10-15-20 times or more a day. I’m not exaggerating! Give it a try for 3 days and see what happens.
4. Hug it out
While ‘physical touch’ may not be yours or your partners top love language, we all need more physical, save, comforting touch in our lives. Studies after studies show that hugs and other safe physical touch is needed for our mental and physical health.
I couldn’t imagine living without hugs. I find that there is a big difference between the casual pat on the back hug which you may get in an office environment vs. a genuine deep hug, one that you want to hold until feeling fully nourished by the warm embrace. Hugs can be so very comforting and full of love.
We feel hugs are important and invite you to hug it out with your spouse. Lean in for a hug and really wrap your arms around him. Squeeze a little more than usual. Don’t let go until you feel fully nourished. EnJOY!
5. Connect in bed
Sex, what an amazing way to connect and be most intimate with your partner. Has your sex turned to a simple act of intercourse vs. beautiful love making? Talk to your spouse about it. You want to find your way back to that feeling of save, caring, loving intimacy that leads to steamy sex in the bedroom.
If this topic is difficult in your relationship you may appreciate watching the movie “Hope Springs” together to start the conversation. It’s funny but also a helpful path to finding your way back to intimacy.
6. Thank you, thank you and more thank yous
Executive health coach Lisa also feels that somewhere along the years we forgot to thank our partner for the many things they do all day for you, for you as a couple, and for the whole family. Wouldn’t it feel nice to be thanked for putting freshly washed socks in the drawer, for managing the difficult conversation with your teenage daughter, or for acing yet another intense board meeting? Yes, it would. As much as you would love to hear those same words please know that so would your spouse - ‘thank you’, ‘wow, that’s amazing’, ‘you are amazing!’, ‘thank you for doing that’.
Just reading those words, don’t you want to smile? Why not fill each others lives being full of appreciation for one another.
7. EnJOY more shared experiences
When the year comes to a close and you hold up the champagne glass on New Year’s Eve, you want to feel like we have lived your life that year, that you didn’t just simply exist each day, week and month without anything to show for.
Creating experiences, especially shared experiences with your spouse and/or the entire family changes a mondäne life to an exciting one. Get tickets to your favorite musicians’ concerts, go camping with the kids, book a weekend in a mountain cabin, or pick any other of the hundreds of options. You’ll never forget these shared memories - singing at the concert, making s’mores at the campfire, or watching the sunset over the mountains. Talk to your partner about it and start planning your next shared experiences.
Here you have it. Those were the next 7 of 21 strategies on how you can rekindle your marriage again. Which resonated most with you? Instead of trying to do all these 7 techniques at once, pick 2 that you will put all your energy behind. Create a plan and set our ideas in motion.
If you’d like help, know that this is our specialty, helping you create a vision of you living your healthiest, most JOYful life in all areas of your life and taking the steps to reach your vision. Click the 'Contact' button in the top right corner or simply send us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule your free discovery session.
And don’t forget to also read our first blog as well as the one following in two weeks to read about the other 14 ideas our executive health coaches shared (find the links right below).