Doesn’t it seem like there is always something we don’t like about ourselves or about our life? Looking at your life you may be frustrated about how past relationships ended, you wish you didn’t change jobs or you wish you had spent more time with your kids before they went off to college.
Or looking at your life today, you may feel unhappy about the way you look, or may be upset that you aren’t able to be the best wife or mother you had always envisioned to be, or you simply aren’t where you thought you would be at this time in your life.
We are so hard on ourselves (and sometimes others). We allow our minds to focus on the many things we feel we (or others) do wrong and that robs us of our JOY. If that’s you, please read this blog because no matter where you are in life, you can ease your mind and live a JOYful life again.
How to be at peace with your past and present
Feel your feelings
Feelings are energy. If your sadness or anger aren’t felt, this energy is trapped within your body, negatively impacting every cell. Feeling your feelings is a great way to have a sense of relief.
So, when I say ‘feel your feelings’ what do I mean? Kids are a wonderful example for us to learn from. In one moment they will throw a fit and 2 minutes later they are happy again and go about their day like nothing ever happened.
What I encourage you to do is to first acknowledge your feelings. Don’t deny feeling sad or angry. And then, give yourself the shortest amount of time to live out that emotional state in a safe environment.
When angry you may want to punch a pillow or do a hard work-out and when sad you want to sit down and cry. Allow for this energy to be released and you’ll feel a little lighter afterwards.
Find gratitude for your past
Yes, our lives take turns we don’t expect and looking back at those moments you may feel frustrated about how situations evolved. You can’t change the past, but can you change your perspective? Consider the good these situations may have brought you.
For example, looking back at my life, I struggled for a long time with the way my marriage ended in 2008. The first two years I saw nothing but struggle and pain. But today, I know that without that experience I would not be the woman I am. I’ve become more secure in who I am and started a business I love which emerged because of the hardship I went through.
If your struggles are recent you may not have that perspective yet. But, if your regrets or frustrations are old stories, consider the many blessings since then. Focus all your attention on the positive. The more you do it, the more you train your brain to think positive thoughts.
Forgive yourself and others
When dealing with heartache from the past you may still feel anger towards someone…your ex, your parents, a sibling or even yourself. I think the reason we can’t let go of our frustrations is often because we still feel hurt by what someone else did or are ashamed of what we did to others.
Regardless of the situation, can you see that constantly rehashing the past only robs you of your JOY? Can you forgive yourself for past mistakes, recognizing that you’d manage the situations differently today with the experiences you’ve had? Can you forgive those that wronged you too seeing that also they just behaved in a way their environment taught them to react.
Let go of the past and instead start focusing on where you want to go.
Become aware of your inner dialog
Letting go of the past is often easier said than done. You want to but your mind keeps bringing up those old wounds again and again. It’s important to realize that the chatter in your mind isn’t you, but rather a set of programmed beliefs that your subconscious replays over and over in your mind.
Don’t believe me? Observe the chatter in your mind for a moment. It keeps yapping on and on even when you listen to it like hearing sound coming out of the radio. Become aware of those voices and learn how to manage them.
Divine destiny?
This may not resonate with you but it has helped me. I believe that each of us is on a path laid out specifically for us by God. For me, this brings a tremendous amount of peace.
No matter if life is good or challenging, believing that there is purpose in all things God does, allows me to look for His purpose in my struggle. In my mind, we are meant to have certain experiences in my life to learn from. Does this belief resonate with you?
Look ahead
So much of your time is spent rehashing the past. What if you took the learnings from your experiences and started to look ahead? Which of those learnings lead you to wanting to evolve as a person?
Start creating a vision of what you look like at your healthiest, most JOYful self in these areas of your life. Create strategies to reach that vision, and then take the steps to becoming that person.
That’s exactly what our professional executive health coaches help you do – lead you from where you are today to where you want to go. Are you ready to see beyond your past and move forward to the next chapter of your life?
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