Hanni Berger CEO JOYVIAL
Do You Have Voices in Your Head?
Over the years, I’ve discovered I have three different voices in my head. All are well documented – as I’ve both researched and journaled heavily about them. I thought I would share my findings with you in the hopes that it can add clarity and ultimately create greater awareness.
These voices are responsible for you spending ninety-five percent of our waking hours not living in the present moment. Our consciousness leads us to worry about the past or possible events in the future. You experience this constant mental chatter even when you’re cooking, brushing your teeth, or going to the bathroom.
Turns out, the chatter in our mind is created by three different parts of our subconscious – your ego, your small child, and your intellect. The fourth voice is you who can, with your conscious mind observe the others. You, who is fully aware of your thoughts and actions, can be seen as the adult in these relationships..
The Ego Voice
Our ego voice is our protector and troublemaker. It’s the voice that always wants to come to our defense, but unfortunately in an unproductive manner. It likes to attack, blames you and others, defend herself and thinks of herself as superior. Your ego also loves to exaggerate and mouth off.
The ego is a version of ourselves that is concerned with individual identity and survival. It’s not inherently a bad thing. The problem is that it gets out of control.
Examples of the ego mind in action:
● Attacks others: “It’s your fault, you don’t even know what you’re doing”
● Blames others: “You are the one who told me I should do this”
● Defends its actions: “I told you from the start that my ideas is better”
● Superior attitude: “I know things better.”
● Exaggerates: “How high do you want me to jump? I can do better than that.”
● Mouths off: “Sure, let me bow down to you!”
When you hear that voice, you often feel embarrassed about your own thoughts and would be mortified if others knew you had them.
Our Small Child Voice
Our small child voice represents our emotions as a child. She responds with fear and primarily just wants to be loved.
She wants to stay in her comfortable box as leaving it raises her anxiety and worry. She is sweet and kind and needs lots of love and many imaginary hugs.
Our inner child is wounded by our upbringing, being denied love when people told her she did wrong. She just wants for things to be okay again.
One of the best things you can do to heal these old wounds is to give your inner child a voice now.
You can begin nurturing a relationship with her and listen to what she has to say.
“Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re not broken!
You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.” ~Steve Maraboli
Examples of the child mind in action:
● Fear: “Can we just stay here and not talk to people”
● Desire for love: “I’m sorry I did wrong."
● Anxiety: “What if we have to wait forever for the food to arrive”
Know that your small child is responsible for all of your tears.
Our Intellect Voice
Our Intellect voice represents order. She likes to stay organized, be accurate and orderly, and be respectful to others. She is the most relaxed of the three of them, but don’t underestimate her loud voice when things are not going right.
Examples of the intellectual mind in action:
● Organized: “I love checking off my to-dos on my list”
● Accurate: “Let me double check this 300 times.”
● Orderly: “Shoes are meant to be aligned next to each other”
● Respectful: “We promised to send this by 9am.”
Growing up in Austria in a culture filled with rules around proper etiquette, this voice is very pronounced for me.
For you the ego voice or the child might be more active. Point is each of us has all three of these voices, each of them adding stress, fear, and anxiety to your life. So what can you do?
I encourage you to start observing your mind. You, the observer is the only part who chooses to have deliberate, conscious thoughts. As the observer you’ll discover that every random thought that crosses your mind comes from one of those three subconscious voices. Having conscious awareness of our state of mind is the only way for you to live in the present moment. Once you have awareness you are in a position to ease each of their minds and start living with greater peace and calm. More on that in our next blog.
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